


All that's left

by nixfireheart08



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: #thefeels, Badass Levi, Canonverse....kinda, Crying and Dying, F/M, How Do I Tag, I ain't spoilin', I forgot flying, M/M, Non-smut-ish, Sadness, Semi-Badass Eren, So don't be mad..., Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, To Sad to be Happy, What Have I DONE?!, don't hate me, first fic on here, kaykay - Freeform, oh thats how, plsforgiveme, previously on Wattpad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:32:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5755543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nixfireheart08/pseuds/nixfireheart08
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow SnK characters both real and made-up, in the war against the relentless swarm and the legion, in a near hopeless battle where everything is an illusion, and the real war is within your mind. Meet Willow Ackerman, a fully trained fighter and born for one reason, to raise and train a boy, the last hope for freedom against the swarm.</p><p>Note* This is my first fic on Archive, but you can find me at nixfireheart08 on Wattpad! Suggestions and feedback are welcome!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If there's something you don't understand, learn to understand it. It's well worth any risk to our lives,"
> 
> -Hanji Zoe, Attack on Titan

Prologue:

It was a simple question. Monster or man? What would it be? Could it be possible that he was both? No. He lost himself at times. It was quite scary, to think that anyone he was around would constantly be at risk, and that was something he couldn't allow. But, he'd have to hold out. He'd have to put the ones he loved in danger. It hurt, but it was th eonly way to save them from the danger outside of the walls. When it was all done, however, it'd be okay. He could put them out of danger, and....

.....kill himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yip Yip! Prologue is out, now onto the next thing....


	2. Chapter 1: The Battle of Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can't change anything unless you can discard part of yourself too. To surpass monsters, you must be willing to abandon your humanity,"
> 
> -Armin Arlert, Attack on Titan

Levi's POV

The room was dead silent. Tension filled the air as the silence drifted longer and longer. Levi shifted in his seat and waited for someone to talk. Hanji had accidentally brought up the topic of Levi's dead squad, that was probably why everyone was so quiet, Levi thought. The captain's head spun as old, gore-filled memories dared to spill his tears. He glanced over to Eren, who was watching him guiltily. 

"I-I'm sorry, sir. I-I should've killed her when I had the chance..." The boy was talking about the female titan, the titan who had savagely murdered Levi's squad. Levi sighed, he felt guilty himself, seeing how much hurt was in the boy's emerald eyes.

"Shut up, brat. It wasn't your fault so save us all some trouble and shut your mouth," He snapped. Part of him recoiled at what he had just said. Nothing would happen if he took pity on the boy, so he'd just have to be harsh through it all.

"Don't worry about Levi, kiddo! He's just a sour, grumpy, kitty!" Hanji beamed as if nothing had happened. Eren sighed and looked away. Levi noticed how the brat had not been acting like himself lately. Eren rarely went outside of his room, almost never ate, and almost never spoke. Mikasa must've noticed it too, because that morning, she had pulled Eren aside and questioned him on what was going on. Levi scoffed.

"Anyways," Erwin cleared his throat, "We may have sealed the hole in Wall Maria, but we still have to solve the mystery of that shifter," A shifter was guarding the basement. She had only shifted once, but it nearly cost Eren his life. The shifter somehow temporarily disabled Eren's healing ability. With his healing gone, he became severely wounded, and almost bled to death, had it not been for Levi's makeshift bandages.

"The concept of titan shifting is still new, and people are rather distraught, seeing as there may be enemies hidden in the walls. It has gotten to the point where Eren can barely go anywhere anymore, at least no where without causing crowds or more accurately, riots," Erwin said, grimly. Eren visibly flinched at this, Levi guessed the brat was struggling with deciding whether or not he was man, or monster.

"I-If I may, sir, I'm fine with staying on the grounds, if you need me," Eren offered. Erwin shook his head.

"Eren, you need to be able to go outside. You're sickly enough as it is," The commander gave Levi a sideways glance. Levi was rather confused at what Erwin wanted him to do.

"That means, Levi, you'll have to chaperone," Erwin was obviously holding back a smile. Hanji burst out, laughing.

"Me!? Why me!? I'm not babysitting a dumb brat!" Levi exclaimed. Eren gave him a wry smile and stood up.

"I'd like to say, Erwin, I can take care of myself. I-I, uh, need to excuse myself for a while," The brunette hurried out of the room. 

"Ah, and I thought you'd take it better, Levi," Erwin raised an eyebrow at the Captain.

"And you'd shave those stupid eyebrows," Levi growled and headed out, following Eren. He could hear Hanji and Erwin giggle behind him, which only made him scowl further.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Eren's POV

Tears flooded down his cheeks. His legs had given out under him as he sat on his bedroom floor. Flash. Flash. Flash. Red. Blood. Death. Gore. He remembered so much. Flash. His mother's bloody head falling from a titan's lips. Flash. Marco lying half-eaten on the ground. Flash. Petra's crushed form against a tree. Flash. Eren couldn't do anything. They were all his fault. He WAS a monster. He was losing himself. he cradled his head in his arms as sobs racked his body. All he wanted was to belong. Was that too much to ask for? 

____________________________________________________________________________________

Levi's POV

He walked the empty halls of the HQ. The moonlight glistened through the windows. He often came here when he was stressed and angry. He stopped when he heard a soft sobbing noise from down the hall. He took a deep breath and walked further. It was coming from Eren's room. What could the brat be crying about now? Levi sighed and inched the door open.

Inside, Eren was a mess on the floor. Tears streamed down from his face as his hands tore at his hair. The boy's bright eyes had gone, and were strangely flashing different colors. Maybe that was because he was a shifter. The boy looked up to see the Captain in the doorway. He immediately froze under Levi's gaze.

"A-Ah! L-Levi! I-I'm sorry!" Eren exclaimed. Levi sighed. Eren's eyes were so much like a wounded deer's that it made Levi's heart wrench.

"Brat. Why are you crying?" Levi tried his best to sound calm. It ended up sounding worried instead. Eren looked away with a grim expression.

"Memories. That's all. I'm fine, really," The boy gave a wry smile in a hopeless attempt to look okay.

"The Hell you are! Why are you crying, Jaeger? Answer me!" Levi tried his best to not sound intimidating or demanding. Eren sighed.

"Please, Levi. I'm okay. Really," Eren looked straight into Levi's eyes, his face full of hurt and pain. It was Levi's turn to look away.

"Fine, I won't pry. But still, come to me if you're like this. Please," He said the last word softly, then turned to leave. Damn that brat for pulling at his heartstrings.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Armin's POV

The sun shone brightly outside. Armin couldn't help but open up the windows to let some air in. The fresh pine breeze blew through, and the blonde inhaled as much as possible. He looked around. The 104th HQ was still in breakfast hours, so Armin knew he'd have some extra time on his hands since he had breakfast early. He backed up from the window and began doing chores. His mind wandered off to thoughts of Eren. He wondered how his best friend was doing. It had been a while since they'd last seen each other. Come to think of it, the last time he saw Eren was during the titan fight against the female titan. Annie. Armin desperately shook off the thought, knowing he'd be crossing a dangerous line if he continued to explore it. He sighed and tried to think about something else. Levi. The man Eren dedicated himself to, the guy that his best friend followed around like a dog. Armin couldn't help but chuckle to himself. He found it rather amusing how Levi was so much like a cat, so grumpy yet so thoughtful at the same time. He found himself pitying the Captain, as his whole squad died except for Eren. He looked around at the room before declaring himself done with chores.

Armin headed downstairs to the meeting room. Mikasa, Connie, and Sasha were already there, immersed in a conversation about titan battle strategics. Armin cleared his throat before taking a seat next to Connie, who patted him on the back mischievously. Suspicious, Armin reached along the back of his shirt to find a small piece of paper. On it said 'Kick Me'. Armin scowled and crumpled it up while Sasha and Connie snickered.

"Idiots," He heard Mikasa mutter.

"Aw, don't be so grumpy, Mika!" A new voice chuckled. They all looked up to find Krista, smiling at them.

"Comprehend the situation first," Mikasa growled in reply.

"Starting the day with arguments is bad for your health," Armin offered.

"Armin! We didn't know you were a doctor!" Sasha smiled, teasingly. A smile ghosted Mikasa's lips as everyone else burst out, laughing. Armin pouted, but in the end, he was laughing with the others. They all began chatting casually. After that, Jean and Rico joined them, beginning their first lesson of the day. Titaneology.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Levi's POV

Levi stared at the tea in his cup. He didn't feel like eating. Eren was sitting across from him, doing the same. Hanji gave them a questioning look and devoured her bread loaf. 

"How come you two aren't eating?" She asked with her mouth full. Levi cringed and gave her a look of disgust. Eren sighed and slumped a little in his chair. It looked like he was on the verge of tears. Levi bit his lip, trying his best not to ask the boy if he was okay. He might not always show it, but Levi cared for each and every one of his soldiers. It hurt the most when nearly every member of his squad died in the female titan attack. 

"Hey, Eren, you look like you just saw someone die. Did you two get into an argument last night?" Hanji stopped eating, giving both of them a worried look. Levi sighed and decided to spit it out.

"The Brat was crying last night," Levi said, solemnly. Hanji frowned for a moment.

"So that's why you're so upset about it?" Levi's face flushed immediately when Hanji made the teasing remark. Eren gave them a tiny smile.

"Hey, I'm fine. Don't worry about it," The same thing the boy had said to him last night. Levi sighed and took a sip of his tea.

"Well, Eren, if you ever have a problem like that again, feel free to come to us, okay?" Hanji grinned.

"Oh, Fine," Eren smiled. Levi's mind went blank. It was the first time Eren had smiled since the titan attack. The smile was youthful and bright, a vague reminder of hope. Levi let himself smile as well, and soon all three of them were grinning like fools. 

"Oi, Shitty Glasses, where do you intend on taking us?" Levi questioned.

"Ah! I knew you'd ask that! We're going to our lab so I can play with my favorite experiment, but of course Erwin did tell you to play chaperone for a bit, so you're coming as well," 

"Another one? Are you going to try and dissect him?"

"Of course not, but I'd love to have a kidney or two!" Eren was mortified at this, eyes widening in surprise. Hanji smirked at his reaction.

"Oh, relax, I was just joking!" She smiled and put her plate away. "Meet me in my lab when you're done!" And with that, she was off, out the door and scurrying to the stables. Once she was gone, Levi forced himself to look Eren in the eyes.

"Tell me what really happened, Eren," Eren flinched, but gave up with a long sigh.

"I-I was thinking about everyone I had failed, and then about how I'm half-titan and half-human. I have moments like that a lot, and I'm scared. I'm scared of myself. I-I know I'm a monster!" Eren looked away, apparently frustrated at his sudden outburst. Levi took a moment to process it all. Damn, the kid was right to cry. All of it was so heavy. Levi struggled to find the right words.

"Well, you didn't fail them, Eren. You're more human than you think," Levi gave a small smile. Eren's eyes widened. Levi knew the boy was surprised by the gentle way he spoke. He knew that many people often saw him as a heartless brute, so this was expected.

"I-I'm s-sorry that I have to be so complicated. I just... well I'm the only non-hostile of my kind and, well... I guess it's kind of hard when everyone sees you as a monster,"

"Hey, don't say sorry. It's not your fault that people choose to be assholes these days," Levi smiled reassuringly. Eren rubbed the back of his neck.

"Thanks, I needed that,"

____________________________________________________________________________________

Third Person

Red. All she could see was blood as she swung her blade and tore into flesh. Her teeth were gritted and her eyes glinted crimson as she put on a maniacal smile. It was raining. Thunder flashed in the sky above her as a torrent of enemies ran forward, yelling their battle cries. Her allies beside her did the same, charging forward to battle. A surge of pride swelled in the warrior, and she uttered the words of freedom into the air.

"No fear, No retreat!" She smirked as she flew into the wave of her victims. 

No retreat indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayay! There it goes, my first chapter, WHOOT!!! Kaykay, I'll see you soon for the next one!


	3. Combustibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do you want?!" She cried out. The agents were wrecking sample after sample, throwing books onto floors and flipping her whole lab upside down. The lead agent gave her a cold smile.
> 
> "Our scientists have conducted research on the saliva samples you sent us. We found some rather unnerving things and it was obvious you should've known. You will be punished for not revealing it to us immediately. So, we will be searching your lab. As for you, Ma'am, you'll come with me," The agent grabbed her wrists and shoved her forward through the doorway. Hanji felt a rope wrap around her arms as she was thrown into the carriage waiting outside.
> 
> "I apologize for the roughness of it, but you'll get used to it soon," The driver tried to reassure her. 'Get used to it soon'? Oh boy, this was going to hurt.

Eren's POV

They had mounted horses and were speeding forward, towards Hanji's lab space. They had casual conversations now and then, and it helped ease the tension from Eren's predicament. When they finally arrived, the sun had risen a little higher. Eren hopped off his horse and hitched it to a post under a tree. Levi did the same. 

The brunette couldn't help but wonder what Hanji planned for him. The woman was indeed an eccentric, and she was known to Levi by only one name (and a fitting one, too): Shitty Glasses. Eren sighed. As he and Levi walked toward the doors of the lab together. Hanji was waiting excitedly in her medical office. She beamed at them. After a few long hours of poking and prodding, the eccentric finally got to the main part of her research.

"Okay, so today I'll be taking blood samples, if you don't mind," 

"Tch. Of course we don't," Levi said sarcastically. Eren stifled a laugh. It was these moments he loved the most, the ones that reflected friendship through the years. Levi gave him an amused glance.

"You don't? Oh, that's perfect because I need a human blood sample, too!" Hanji had simply missed the point.

"Shitty Glasses, you're an idiot," Levi growled. Hanji simply grinned wider. She grabbed two needles and drew their blood. It was a few minutes after and the needle wound had already disappeared for Eren. When Hanji placed the blood samples under a microscope, she froze with a look of pure shock on her face.

"What?" Eren asked, confused. Hanji let out an unearthly squeal that made Levi nearly fall off his chair.

"Oooh! Eren, take a look for yourself!" She could barely speak above a whisper, apparently too excited for it. Eren sighed and got up, taking a look at the microscope. Somehow, Levi's blood was disappearing. Eren's blood was vaporizing as well. Levi frowned and took off the bandage that covered his needle wound. The pierce was gone. Both were shocked.

"I-It can h-heal wounds that aren't m-mine?!" Eren asked, stunned. Hanji slowly nodded. Levi cleared his throat.

"In case you haven't noticed, people are going to start harvesting titan blood. They probably think that he can just make more, but he CAN get overwhelmed and, possibly, die," Levi said, grimly. Eren looked pained as he sucked in a breath and tore his eyes away from the microscope.

"I know, that's why I'm burning the blood samples and keeping this a secret. We all have to," Hanji's smile faded. 

"Ah, good then. Anything else before we leave?" Levi asked, putting the thoughts behind him.

"Well, you should go visit the 104th, it's been a while since they last saw Eren, so they'll want to know if he's alright," Hanji sighed, turning to the pile of papers on her desk. Levi nodded.

"Alright then, we'll go now," Eren said, uneasily. 

____________________________________________________________________________________

Armin's POV

Armin hummed to the sound of the wind whistling softly. He sat outside on the swaying grass listening to the birds. Armin loved nature. He loved everything about it. He loved the wind, the trees, the animals, and most of all, the sky. He found himself staring at it for hours on end. He pulled his bangs to the sides of his head and bit his lip. He noticed two figures approaching him in the distance. When he realized who they were, he jumped to his feet and raced as fast as humanely possible. Eren and Levi. Knowing that Levi would probably kill him if Armin just randomly hugged him, he embraced Eren instead. He hugged Eren like the world would end. Tears lined his eyes as Eren patted Armin's head.

"Whoah, Armin! What's wrong?" Eren chuckled.

"I-I miss you, dammit!"It was a rare occasion to ever see Armin speak like such. Eren's eyes widened. Levi gave him a strange look as he let go. Armin rubbed his neck shyly and lightly hugged Levi as well. Levi only scowled further. Oops. Eren stifled a laugh and looked away, covering his mouth with his hand in a desperate attempt to avoid bursting out, laughing. Armin raised a brow in amusement.

"Well, enough of that," Levi snapped, "We thought we'd drop by since you probably haven't seen Eren in a bit,"

"Actually, it was more Hanji's idea," Eren smiled. Levi scoffed.

"Whatever," And with that, they were heading down to the HQ. When Eren knocked on the door, it was immediately swung open, revealed an absolutely shocked Mikasa. 

"Hey..." Eren was at a loss for words. What do you say to a family member you haven't seen in nearly two months? Mikasa frowned when her gaze turned to Levi, but smiled when it went back to Eren and Armin. Mikasa and Levi weren't quite on good terms yet. Eren smiled and gave her a long hug. 

"Eren, I haven't seen you since forever. Idiot. You think you just come up to me and say 'hey'? And what about that midget over there, hmm?" Eren sighed at her response.

"And I thought I'd get a warmer welcome from you," He laughed. Mikasa smirked.

"You'll see, inside," She allowed them in to reveal every one of his friends excitedly gathered together in the living room.

"Eren! You're back!" Krista squealed. She noticed Levi beside him and darted behind everyone else, yelping in surprise. Levi scoffed. Obviously. She was often intimidated by figures of the military. Jean, Connie, and Sasha were gathered in front of her. Jean was first. He grabbed Eren's shoulder and pulled him into a hug.

"Welcome back, idiot," Jean chuckled. 

"You too, horse-face," Eren joked. Jean snorted and backed up, allowing Sasha and Connie to leap forward and lock him in a bear hug. Eren was literally being strangled as he fell to the floor. Connie laughed and ruffled Eren's hair. Sasha smiled devilishly as she helped him up.

"You two are the same as ever," Eren joked. After the reunion, all of them sat down to lunch, sharing stories and cracking jokes. Eren felt the tension seep out of him as he spent time with his old comrades. It was the usual, black tea and bread. The food rates had not gone up, and with missing farmland from Maria, they were slowly sinking. Eren enjoyed it nevertheless, as long as it was with his friends.

"So Eren, what have you been up to the past few weeks?" Krista asked. Eren sighed. He really didn't know. All he was doing was attending training and exercises, no titan hunts at all. 

"Nothing much, really. I guess Levi will be looking for new recruits, but that's only if you guys become fully trained cadets," Eren shrugged.

"Then we'll train harder! I can't wait until we're all in the same squad! That'd be nice, just like in the good ole' days!" Oh Eren definitely remembered. Assigned wake up schedules, curfews, Sasha and Connie pranking him at least once a day, and Jean always looking for a fight. A sudden sorrow swept over him. So many of the trainees had died. So many had gone. So much blood spilled. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Rico appeared, smiling warmly at her old recruit.

"Ah, Eren! You should've told me that you'd drop by, I was wondering why all my recruits were late to the meeting room!" The squad leader chuckled. Eren realized he had been interrupting training time. 

"Oh, sorry if I'm cutting into anything, we were just coming over to say hi,"

"Well, you are and you're going to pay for it by training with us. Levi, you can watch if you'd like to," 

"Very well," Levi answered. Rico gestured for everyone to follow her out the door. She led them to a small, grassy field where several training swords, targets, and dummies were set up. Eren scoffed. He'd fought better than this. Rico noticed him and smirked.

"Not that side, you idiot," She pointed to the other side of the field, where actual metal swords, an obstacle course, and a practice 3DMG course were set up. Eren smiled.

"That's more like it," Levi commented. Mikasa was first. She pulled on a pair of 3DMG that sat on the grass and set herself on the course path. She focused on doing lap after lap while Krista and Sasha waited for her to finish. Eren knew Sasha had a craving not only for food, but for speed. She was accepted into the trainee squad for her ways of being both accurate and fast. Connie picked up a sword and turned to Jean with a impish smirk on his face. They launched into a battle. Rico picked up a clipboard and nodded to Levi.

"Shall we?" Levi asked. Eren nodded as they both grabbed a sword. It was strange, Eren had never fought Levi before, but knowing that he was indeed a good fighter, Eren would have met more than his match. Levi spun to the left and slashed, Eren jumping back not a moment too soon. Now it was his turn. Eren twirled his sword through the air, using a tactic Connie once taught him. If it was from Connie, it'd be a dirty move. Eren feinted a twist to the right, gave one sharp poke at Levi's arm, and slashed at Levi's head. The raven parried it quickly, seemingly impressed. He grasped the hilt of his sword tighter as Levi aimed at Eren's forearm, slashing repeatedly, forcing Eren to block each one or end up with a gash and a sling. They continued, battling for what felt like hour until Rico blew a whistle.

"SWITCH!" She yelled out. Levi nodded as the trainees switched stations. Eren beat Jean to the 3DMG, Connie and Sasha ran to the obstacle course, and Krista and Mikasa battled each other. Eren was unsteady when he launched the grapples, as his feet left the ground to fast to notice and the 3DMG jerked forward. Eren took a deep breath as he began. Once he reached the end of his first line, he launched again. By the time his turn was over, he'd done ten laps. After a few more hours, Eren and Levi said their goodbyes as they left the HQ to continue the rest of their day.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Erwin's POV

He flipped through pages of paperwork that Pixis had ever so kindly plopped on his desk. Erwin hated it when he was forced to remain cramped in his office, doing nothing but sign page after page after page. He scribbled relentlessly when he reached one strange document that appealed to him. He slowly read the first paragraph.

The Allowance of Titan Shifters

Sample blood tests of Eren Jaeger: Valid

Description: 15 yr. old titan shifter boy. German of origin. Father Grisha Jaeger. Mother Carla Jaeger. There is extremely little known about titan shifters, Hanji Zoe shall be leading experiments to identify (serum) in blood. Should there indeed be (serum) in blood, Doctor Grisha Jaeger shall be questioned as to why this (serum) should exist. If it proves to be volatile, (due to recent findings) the (serum) is to be burnt and Eren Jaeger executed by assigned executioner. The execution shall be public to allow residential relief.

Erwin Smith: _________________ 

Levi Ackerman: _________________ 

Erwin's eyes widened. Kill Eren? Why? And what the Hell did 'due to recent findings' mean? Why was there to be 'residential relief' coming out from Eren's execution? So many questions buzzed in Erwin's head that he felt dizzy and had to steady himself in his chair for a bit. He stood up and sighed. He needed to find Levi. 

____________________________________________________________________________________

Hanji's POV

"What do you want?!" She cried out. The agents were wrecking sample after sample, throwing books onto floors and flipping her whole lab upside down. The lead agent gave her a cold smile.

"Our scientists have conducted research on the saliva samples you sent us. We found some rather unnerving things and it was obvious you should've known. You will be punished for not revealing it to us immediately. So, we will be searching your lab. As for you, Ma'am, you'll come with me," The agent grabbed her wrists and shoved her forward through the doorway. Hanji felt a rope wrap around her arms as she was thrown into the carriage waiting outside.

"I apologize for the roughness of it, but you'll get used to it soon," The driver tried to reassure her. 'Get used to it soon'? Oh boy, this was going to hurt.

____________________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, a little delay. I hope you forgive meeeee!!!
> 
> Oh, and feedback please!


	4. Tense Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since then he'd been so alone. Stuck in the unforgiving world. Mikasa had said it was cruel, but beautiful. So beautiful. Eren could only see it as it was to him, a world where you could never truly feel like you belong. A world where you were no more than a monster. He hated it. He despised it. All he wanted was to curl up into a ball and run away. He wanted to run away from the cruel aspects of life. Death. His salvation.

Eren's POV

A rage of bright orange fire flew up in a whirlstorm around him. Bloody tears flooded down his eyes. His swords are unsheathed as he glares at the figure before him. Eyes red and flashing, the figure moves closer. It was his Father, staring back at him with a look of betrayal.

"She's DEAD because of you!" His father yelled, raising his fist, ready to strike. Eren knew who he was talking about. His mother. Before he knew what he was doing, Eren had his metal blade slashing in an arc before him. Grisha staggered back, clutching his now bleeding stomach, still staring at his son. "Don't you understand? You never even told her you loved her!" Grisha's words echoed through Eren's mind as he answered.

"I don't," The words were spoken so plainly yet so sharp and biting. "I don't love her," Eren said yet again. With one, swift motion, he had sliced off his father's head. It was a dream, he told himself. A dream, that was all. Yet it seemed so real and he couldn't even control what he was saying or doing and he didn't know whether he meant it or not. The words were out of the boy's mouth before he could stop himself.

"And I don't love you, either," And it all faded into black nothingness.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Levi's POV:

"You okay, brat?" He asked Eren from across the table. Eren simply nodded. The silence was too much to bear. Now that all of Levi's old squad was gone, the HQ was more quiet than ever. 

"I miss them," The boy said, looking away. "I may not have known them long, but I knew them long enough to miss them now," Eren said, glumly.

"I do too, kid," Levi gave a grim smile and looked up into the boy's emerald eyes. When they were finished with their daily meal, the two headed out to train with Hanji and Erwin's scouts. It was normal, as while Eren was training, Levi could keep an eye out for who might make a good recruit for the survey corps.

"Uh, I'll go unhitch the horses," Eren stood and gathered his plate, putting everything away before heading outside. Levi frowned. The kid was so happy the day before, so why was he acting like this now? Levi shrugged the though off, putting his own plate away to follow Eren. 

Outside, everything was as beautiful as it always was. He noticed Eren fumbling with the horse ties in the stable. Eren was silent when Levi came up to him and gave him a worried glance. Eren ignored it, handing Levi his horse and going toward the end of the stable to untie his. 

"You seem glum. I'll ask you. What's bothering you, brat?" Levi mounted his horse and stared at the brunette.

"Nightmare," came the short answer as Eren hopped on his horse. Levi nodded in understanding. 

"About what?"

"I killed my father. I said I didn't love him or my own mother," Oh man. That was heavy and if it wasn't, then nothing was. Levi flinched at it.

"Sorry for asking," Levi mumbled. Damn it! Why did he always have to ask the wrong questions?

"Don't apologize," Eren spoke barely above a whisper. The words were more a command than a reassurance. Levi didn't mind, he deserved it anyway. The two both headed toward the commanding office where Erwin and the other Commanders worked. Eren stayed silent, as expected.

"Erwin, you called?" Levi asked, confused. Erwin had a messenger sent to him, out of breath and urgent.

"Levi, what I'm about to tell you is serious. Please don't freak out," Erwin seemed on the edge of panicking. Levi became even more confused. Eren seemed confused as well and frowned.

"What?" Levi raised a brow as Erwin shoved a document into Levi's hands. Eren peeked over his shoulder. After reading it, Eren remained silent as Levi bit his lip and looked back up at Erwin. Both men were grim.

"Kill him? Why!?" Levi's sudden outburst caused Eren to flinch. Erwin smiled sadly.

"Their research, I guess," 

"Oh god, Hanji..." Levi felt nauseous. 

"S-She w-wouldn't tell t-them, would she?" Eren asked, acceptance in his eyes but his voice not showing it. Levi sighed. 

"If she did, I'll make sure that she gets her ass kicked," Levi snorted. Erwin frowned.

"Are you telling me that all three of you are sharing secrets?" Erwin growled. Eren jumped. "Fucking tell me, you know that this could cost all of us our lives!" Levi had never seen Erwin so angry. The captain glanced over to Eren, who refused to say anything.

"We found out while Hanji was testing Eren's blood sample and comparing it to mine, it can heal other people's injuries. The problem is, if the government wants to reproduce it and use it for medical purposes, they'll most likely assume that the blood will just grow back. Luckily, what this is saying makes that most likely not the case," Levi answered. Erwin went from anger to denial to shock in a matter of seconds. Levi kept his cool.

"Do you understand the consequences of that, Captain? You and Eren will be punished all the same, and I as well, if they find out," Erwin's voice was solemn and his face revealed nothing. Suddenly, Eren took a deep breath and headed out the door. He didn't say a word, for Levi and Erwin already knew. He needed some air, that's all, or so he thought. Once outside, he slumped against a tree, busy thinking.

He often had nightmares like the one he had that morning. He considered them more of prophetic moments than anything else. He felt dull and numb. He knew why his friends worried for him. He rarely showed emotion and was mostly always in a trance-like state. It felt like chains tugging at him one way, then jerking him the other. He was torn. He couldn't trust his instincts, he couldn't even trust himself. It made him remember the pain of that one day where his false world came crashing down, revealing the world where he was no longer safe. The day his mother died. 

Ever since then he'd been so alone. Stuck in the unforgiving world. Mikasa had said it was cruel, but beautiful. So beautiful. Eren could only see it as it was to him, a world where you could never truly feel like you belong. A world where you were no more than a monster. He hated it. He despised it. All he wanted was to curl up into a ball and run away. He wanted to run away from the cruel aspects of life. Death. His salvation.

He tried to shoo away the thoughts, only to have them crawl back. He remembered everything. His promise to kill every last titan. And that meant that if he himself was more monster than human, he'd have to kill himself as well. It'd hurt to live the rest of life knowing that everyone around you, no matter who, would see him as a monster. Levi, Armin, Mikasa, and even his own parents, he'd never be the same as them. Never. Eren cradled his head in his arms and sighed. He felt tears daring to slip. He knew that when all of this was over, he'd need to fully complete his promise. He couldn't let others know. He'd do it in a room, staring at himself through a mirror, and finally take his own li-

"Oi, Jaeger," A voice called out, making Eren jump. The boy looked up. Thankfully, tears were not streaming down his face like his last surprise encounter, as it was Levi.

"A-Ah, Captain!" Eren slowly made his way to his feet, his thoughts refusing to be ignored. Eren fought them away as best as he could. They came back worse. Eren paled and looked down at the ground.

"We leave now, time to go check if Shitty Glasses isn't dead," The Captain sighed. "You okay there, Brat?" 

"U-Uh, yeah! I'm fine," Eren looked back up at Levi, who was examining him closely. 

"The Hell you are. I find you slumped against a tree looking as if you had just seen a ghost," Levi scoffed. Eren smiled wryly.

"Might as well have," The brunette headed over to where his horse was hitched and fumbled with the knot. He needed something, anything, to distract him from his dark thoughts. A dark storm rumbled inside him, so much chaos and pain that he simply wanted to tear his head off. He flinched when a hand rested on his shoulder. Eren looked down to find Levi, a concerned look on his face. Eren's eyes widened. He had never seen the corporal look more expressive than this! Eren looked away once more, only to feel another hand force his head to turn to the Captain. 

"Eren, look at me," 

"Why should I?"

"Because I say so,"

"Go away. Leave me alone. I just need some time," Eren was baffled by the sharp words that came out of his mouth. A small flash of hurt shone in Levi's eyes, but it faded almost instantly.

"Eren, it's about the paper, isn't it?"

"So what if it was?"

"Eren, listen to me dammit!" Levi barked out and gripped the boys shoulders tightly.

"What!?" Eren snapped back.

"Please Eren, tell me what's wrong! I want to help!"

"Why the Hell do you care!? I'm fine for God's sake!" Eren wrestled himself out of Levi's grip and turned away. What did Levi know about the demons haunting Eren anyway? Suddenly, he felt arms wrap tightly around him. Eren turned around quickly, seeing the Corporal nearly in tears.

"Fuck, Eren I fucking love you! Don't fucking kill yourself! I know that's what's bothering you, so please let me do this for you!" Levi was literally begging. Eren was at a loss for words. "Eren, please, don't do this!" The Captain was shouting out. Eren's mind went blank. Levi loved him? How? After all these days, Levi loved him? "Eren, I'm so sorry for all of this coming out all of a sudden, but, Fuck! Eren, please I-"

"I-I love you, too..." Eren muttered out, making Levi freeze to stare up at him. Eren felt a hand comb through his hair as he began to shake with sobs. He had said it. He'd blurted it out. Another hand wiped away his tears.

"Let's get back to our HQ and then we can talk about this," Levi let go of him, eyes still wide with worry. Eren sighed as his tears slowly dried. Before Eren could comprehend what was happening, Levi had launched forward and kissed him with a fiery passion. It was long, and more of an attack than anything else. It felt so good...so warm. Eren kissed back, letting Levi's soft tongue slip between his own lips. When Levi had released Eren once more, the brunette was breathless. Levi gave a small smile and headed over to his horse to untie it. 

Funny that Eren's death schedule was what brought them together.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Third Person

It was cold and dark. They'd penetrated the castle. Now she needed to find the Hive Queen deep underground. The next few days would be spent in darkness, but it was the only way to stop the swarm. They were out of choices.

"Damn these tunnels," Her companion growled. She smirked through the darkness. She lit the torch in her hand with a match and moved forward. They had a long day ahead of them and she wasn't about to spend it in the dark.

____________________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the dark stuff...it was hard to write 'cause I hate making any of my poor, darling characters suicidal.
> 
> Don't assume anything yet...
> 
> And also, congrats Levi....you got your first date..heh..he..he...*sobs* 
> 
> *whispers* What have I done...


	5. Running Low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were two figures limping down the hill. Armin held his breath. They were not scouts; couldn't be. They wore dark black cloaks that glinted in the sun. Erwin was motionless, Armin wondered why he hadn't given the command to find out who they were. Mikasa fidgeted anxiously and the whole squad was tense. One of the figures looked up and pointed. They'd been spotted, alright. Although, hiding wasn't necessarily their goal. Erwin snapped his fingers once and pointed to Connie and Sasha. The pair nodded and hopped off their horses. The two figures froze in place. Connie and Sasha ran down toward the cloaked figures. Armin prayed they weren't hostile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, a little something to sum all your emotions up.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJEoxeW7JvQ
> 
> or if the link doesn't work, just search up 'bleeding out imagine dragons' 
> 
> Hah! I love that song!

Unknown Character* POV 

Titans. Titans everywhere. They swarmed her and her comrade. There was no escape. She launched her mod 3DMG up into the air and picked her targets. She'd have to act quick. Her companion was doing the same, but wasn't in a battle stance.

"Don't even try! We have to get out of here!" He shouted at her. He grabbed her hand and his 3DMG jerked forward, speeding them away from the screeching sea of titans below them. Luckily, they were no taller than fifteen meters, so they could easily escape along the tunnel walls. Suddenly, she felt herself slam against something, and she slid down to the cold, wet floor. She heard her companion scream her name. He was at her side in an instant, gently scooping her up and pressing himself against the wall. Searing pain burned through her side as she curled an arm around her side. Glancing down, her wound was horrific. It was a giant, mangled gash. Blood gushed out of it, making her dizzy and faint. Titans were slowly wobbling towards them, letting out unearthly shrieks. 

"Shit," She muttered under her breath. "Just go, it's pointless," Her wound was going to kill her. It was an arm's length long and about at least half a foot wide. Her companion went rigid.

"Fuck no, I'm going to bring you back alive whether you like it or not," He set her down gently and pulled out a small knife from his pocket. "For you..." She saw what he was about to do. As he raised the knife to his wrist, she placed her hand on his.

"Don't. Don't waste your blood to save me. I'm not worth it," He did it anyway, drawing a deep, red line on his wrist. Blood dribbled out as he hissed in pain. Carefully, so as not to touch her side, he allowed the blood to drip from his wrist to her wound. The blood sizzled upon landing, the skin slowly stretching together flawlessly. After he had drained a decent amount of blood, he stripped a piece off his black cape and wrapped it around his wound. 

"Fuck. I said NOT to!" 

"Mhmm. I'm fine," He answered. 

"You'll bleed out! Our wounds don't heal, have you forgotten?"

"I'm bleeding out for you, that's all I care about. Go on without me, alright?" 

"She said it was for an emergency against raiders, but..." She murmured as she pulled out a small syringe from my cloak pocket. His eyes widened. She injected the needle on his arm and placed it back in her pocket.

"Let's leave together," She smiled weakly. He laughed and embraced her. They grappled up towards the end of the tunnel, throwing gas bombs behind them. They hadn't completed the mission, but safety was worth much more than that.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Note* Slight smut but not really.

Eren's POV 

They were walking silently, through the forest. Levi was beside him, looking worried, but Eren was too deep in his thoughts to notice. 

The battlefield was soaked with blood, the crimson liquid coating the ground thickly. The blood of his friends. It was too much. He. Was. Losing. Control. Tiny figures scattered the ground, staring at him with hurt and betrayal. Why? Of course... he stared at his hand. A struggling scout beat at his fingers, trying to unwrap them desperately. He felt his human form begin to cry. Tears. He couldn't feel anything. He tried to regain control, but he couldn't. All he could do was watch as his titan form squeezed the scout to death. He screamed. He felt his consciousness slow to a stop. Then...

Stop. He heard a voice say. Stop it. You're killing them. Can't you see? You can barely control yourself. You really are a monster. Suddenly, his conscience snapped back. His eyes flashed open. No, not his titan eyes. His human ones. A figure was holding him. 

"Fuck. Snap out of it, Eren. You shit head!" The voice sounded hurt. He gazed into the eyes of Levi. Betrayal was painted all over his face. 

"Mhmm, I'd rather die....so angry..." He was furious at the humans for thinking he was a monster. They deserved to die...to die...die...kill..kill humans...every....last...one...

"Eren! Eren, snap out of it!" Levi snapped his fingers in front of Eren's face.

"U-Uh...s-sorry..." The brunette managed to mumble. Levi embraced him. Eren's face immediately flushed. Levi chuckled.

"Hey, it's okay. I know you've been through a lot," The raven sighed and patted Eren's back.

"I-I'm fine..." Eren backed away. Levi only pulled him into a closer hug. 

"Bullshit. You're not," Levi ran his hand through the boy's hair. "Let's talk about this," He sat down, pulling Eren down with him. Eren yelped in surprise when Levi straddled his lap. Levi grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look the raven in the eyes.

"How are you? Really?" 

Silence.

"Eren?"

Silence.

"Eren!" 

"Sorry, it's kind of hard when we're sitting like this..." Eren blushed harder. Levi smirked.

"Like this?" He ground their hips together, caressing the boy's cheek and smiling devilishly. Eren cried out, his hands carding through Levi's hair.

"H-Hey! S-Stop it..." Eren whimpered. 

"We don't have to, if you don't want to..."

"Uh...I do but...we're in a forest where anyone can see us or hear us..." 

"They're out on a last minute scouting trip," Levi's hands traced down the brunette's sides and stopped at the rim of his pants. Eren gave up and kissed the raven. It was warm and desperate, hungry tongues sliding against each other. Then, Eren felt Levi's fingers slipping under his belt. He couldn't do this. He broke away from the kiss to place his hand around Levi's wrist. Levi stared back at him with surprise. The captain withdrew his fingers and looked away.

"I'm sorry....I just..." 

"No, it's fine. Don't apologize," Eren murmured. "It's just that we're in a forest and..."

"I understand," Levi gave a tiny smile. 

"Hey, we can finish this when we get to the HQ," Eren smiled back. Levi pushed himself off Eren's lap and stood. With Levi's help, Eren hauled himself to his feet.

"Best makeout ever," Levi joked. Eren rolled his eyes, though he secretly hoped they could get to the HQ as quickly as possible.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Armin's POV

There were two figures limping down the hill. Armin held his breath. They were not scouts; couldn't be. They wore dark black cloaks that glinted in the sun. Erwin was motionless, Armin wondered why he hadn't given the command to find out who they were. Mikasa fidgeted anxiously and the whole squad was tense. One of the figures looked up and pointed. They'd been spotted, alright. Although, hiding wasn't necessarily their goal. Erwin snapped his fingers once and pointed to Connie and Sasha. The pair nodded and hopped off their horses. The two figures froze in place. Connie and Sasha ran down toward the cloaked figures. Armin prayed they weren't hostile.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Connie's POV

If these guys were hostile, he'd have to make sure Sasha was thinking about fighting, not eating. Connie sighed and looked the two opposing figures in the eye.

"Who are you?" He tried not to make it sound intimidating. Instead of an answer, they pulled their hoods back, smirks on their faces.

"Who are you to question us? We don't live in that stone cage of yours..." A girl with pure black hair and blue eyes smiled mockingly at him. The other chuckled, light hazel hair and yellow irises.

"Relax. We're not here to kill you. We're just heading back to our home," 

"Wait, there's another establishment outside the walls?!" Sasha's eyes widened and she jumped in the air. Connie had to pin her down in order to keep her from freaking out. 

"Now, we'll have to make our leave, we were planning to get home on foot, but you leave us no choice..." with that, large black wings shot out from their backs. Connie and Sasha gasped as they spun and twirled upward, flapping their wings higher with each stroke. Soon enough, they were out of sight. Their assumptions about the world outside the walls had been wrong after all.

____________________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Thanks to the first kudo-ers! You guys just are the best! Remember, this is all from my fic on wattpad! You can check it out, my username is nixfirheart08! 
> 
> UPDATE: One last thing, remember that you can write suggestions down below. Thanks for surviving these first few chapters! Now onto the drama!
> 
> Feedback Please!


	6. Wings of Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song 'monster' by Imagine Dragons goes perfect with this chapter! And...I'm crying. This one was sooooo hard to write!!!

Third Person's POV:

The beautiful creatures spun in the air, fingers interlacing, wings gracefully twirling, a silent dance that captivated all that saw it. The scouts were chasing them on their 3DMG. It was obvious they wanted answers. They were baffled by how the cloaked figures moved so agile in the air. 

"Hey stop!" Connie called out.

"We're the 104th trainee squad! We couldn't hurt you if we even tried to!" Sasha begged.

"Wow, so beautiful..." Krista murmured silently. After a few minutes of chasing them, the creatures stopped and turned around.

"If you keep trying to chase us, your 3DMGs are going to run out of gas," And they dove. Straight down, faster than lightning, disappearing under the clouds. The scouts followed, pressing the brakes slowly so the gear didn't cause them to crash on the ground. When they reached the bare landscape below, the two mysterious creatures were waiting for them with smiles on their faces.

"My name is Minx," The hazel haired one said.

"I'm Willow," The black haired one continued.

"First of all...what exactly are you?" Sasha blurted out excitedly. Connie clamped his hand over her mouth, muttering strings of apologies and excuses. The one called Willow smiled.

"Shifters. Ultra shifters. Titan Shifters that cannot control their Titan form, so they are able to manipulate what forms on their being or who they attack," 

"Wow! So you're just like Eren!" Krista piped up from behind Mikasa. Willow chuckled.

"I've heard of this 'Eren'. But..." The smile slid off her face. "Keep him safe. They're after him," And with that, their large wings unfurled and they zipped up high into the air with one powerful stroke. The wind blasted instantly as a long howl echoed through the sky. 

"What the Hell does that mean..." Jean's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I don't fucking know," Connie answered.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Eren's POV

"Y-You mean, there are others out there...like me!?" Eren was mortified. Armin had come chasing after him explaining the details of the whole thing. They sat in the sitting room, tense and waiting for the answer.

"Winged titans. I never thought such a thing existed," Levi sighed. Eren sighed and looked down.

"It's a lot to take in I know, but still, we can't deny the fact that these creatures are obviously the greater mind here. They weren't hostile, but we can't yet know if we can trust them. Nevertheless, we have to take into mind that they said that something was coming after you, Eren," Armin took a deep breath and sank deeper into his chair. Eren smiled knowingly. He'd known this would happen. Ever since Annie crystalized herself. It was well known that Reiner and Bertholdt had disappeared the night Annie 'died'. He knew why. They were titan shifters as well. They spited humanity more than anything else. 

Eren had made an assumption that the syringe his father had injected into him was sought after, and could be extracted through blood sampling. If people wanted his power, they'd need his blood. Then, a sudden realization struck him. Hanji. There was a assigned saliva sampling the day before. After that, a blood sampling. If the government realized that his blood samples were missing, she'd be dead by now. With that last thought, the smile was whipped off his face. Eren stood rather abruptly. He briskly walked out of the room. He had to find Hanji. Armin and Levi quickly chased after him, calling his name desperately. Eren internally growled. What do they know about my pain? Eren pushed the thoughts away. He loved both of them. He had to be strong. There were currently two forces that either wanted him, or wanted him dead. The government wanted a blood test and should it be volatile, he was to be killed. On the other hand, there was another force that wanted more or less the same thing, but no blood test. So basically, the first choice was the better option. All he needed was some time to think this through.

A soft hand gripped his shoulder firmly. Eren spun around, to find Armin right behind him. The blonde smiled wryly and wrapped him in a hug.

"Hey, don't do this to me," Armin murmured. A surge of anger welled up inside him. Why? What would Armin know about his pain? He was angry. Angry at Armin for not understanding. He knew that his anger was misdirected, but he had no other choice. Before he could think further, Armin spoke again.

"I know how much you care about us, but please don't do this to yourself," That. Was. It. Eren couldn't keep his anger down for much longer. So he let it all go.

"Care?! Care about what? You?! I'm FUCKING done. I hate you, Armin. I hate you so mu-"

"Noooooo! Eren don't...." Armin desperately begged him.

"-much! And....you know what? This fight is technically over right?" Eren continued, saying the last sentence bitterly. "I can just get out of your hair," With that, Eren bolted down the hallway, sprinting to his room on the third floor. He didn't get it. Those who were hunting him were his own kind. He could go and join them and finally belong! But....at the cost of humanity. Wait.

Hadn't humanity betrayed him?

Hadn't humanity laughed at him, threatened him, and even sentenced him to death!? Hadn't it? He slammed the door shut and locked it. He'd have to be quick on his decision. They'd try to stop him, to kill him before he returned to his kind. HIS kind. Not theirs, not Armin's, not Mikasa's. HIS kind.

"Enough of this..." The brunette murmured to himself. He hurried to his desk drawer. Inside, he pulled out a small knife. He slumped against the wall as he slid down to his knees. Eren pushed his sleeve back. A little pain would help him make his decision. He would trick his pursuers into thinking the government had tortured him and tell them that he was running away to join them. It wasn't exactly plausible, but for now it'd work. Suddenly, he heard banging on his door. 

They're here. Hurry. Armin and Levi are going to try and stop you. Don't let them in....

"Eren! You'll open the door this instant!" Levi. Oh fuck no. With that, he unsheathed the knife and drew it in an arc across his arm. The pain stung, but only for a bit before it went numb. It burned into a pleasant warmth that bloomed up to his finger tips. He let it linger for a few moments longer, then he sighed and grabbed a wash cloth from the top of the desk. He hesitated a moment and rubbed at the blood. He hurried to his bathroom to wash the rest of the blood off. The banging on his door became more furious by the second. Eren rushed to his 3DMG that sat by his bedside. After strapping it on, he opened the window, preparing himself to jump out. It was the only escape. He tucked the knife into his jacket pocket.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a monster in your eyes.

He jumped.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Levi's POV

He froze as he heard the familiar mechanical hiss of 3DMG launching. No.......

"Eren, I'm gonna kick that door down..." With those words, he lifted his leg and kicked as hard as possible. The door left its hinges and gave a dull thud as it met the floor. He frantically peered inside. No Eren. The desk drawer looked like it had been hit by a tornado. A bloody towel sat mockingly in the bathroom as if to emphasize what the boy had done. Levi's gaze shifted to the window. It had been flung open and the 3DMG that usually sat by the bed was gone. 

Dammit.

Levi turned and spun around, dashing to his room. Armin was one step ahead of him, strapping on the 3DMG belts. Once they were ready, they hurried out of their own windows, searching the sky for their Eren.

No sight of him. 

Wait.

There was a small black silhouette outside the walls, speeding West. 

"Oi, Armin," Levi pointed toward it and the blonde nodded. The chase had begun.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Third Person:

"Ah, It was just soooo hard to talk like that..."

"Just keep it up. We need to intimidating, Willow,"

"They're after my fucking apprentice. They'll pay,"

"No. Calm yourself. You'll get killed that way,"

The blue eyed girl sighed and flapped her wings harder, it was going to be a long ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if there were any typos 'cause I was the only beta reader. *sighs* Enjoy!


	7. Slipping Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Scout trooper Eren of the Survey Corps is missing," The whole room fell silent. 
> 
> "No. That's not what happened," Gasps could be heard as Levi shifted his weight off Mikasa and Armin and slowly staggered forward. "He tried to kill himself," Now the faces of those gathered before him were mortified.
> 
> "Levi!" Hanji whisper-shouted to him, shooting him a warning look. He only growled at her.
> 
> "I found a bloody cloth and his 3DMG missing, the window was open and I assumed he'd run away," Levi continued. Erwin raised an eyebrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, hope you enjoy this one! I guess I'll be posting the rest of the chapters I've already written.

Eren's POV

He'd gone zooming through the city, people giving him strange looks and stopping to stare in surprise. He scoffed to himself. They had no idea, living their dainty lives away from the front lines. He had the sudden urge to swoop down and give them all one of his angered speeches. It terrified him. What if that urge turned into blood lust? He wouldn't be able to control himself. No, he had made the right decision, he'd go and join his kind. He'd go and forget about all of this. Eren knew that because of this, he'd be seen as cold and heartless, abandoning humanity in such a way, but it's not like they didn't think that in the first place, right?

I'm so sorry....I still love you... 

Those few words drifted to the front of his mind. Did he love Levi? Of course he did, but that was only going to become one of his weaknesses. Levi was a human. A fragile human. He couldn't possibly hope to endanger the man's life with what he was about to attempt.

"Eren!"

Suddenly, he heard his name being shouted over the hiss of the 3DMG. Someone had followed him. Growling, he whipped the gears further, the wind whistling in his ears as the grapples jerked forward. No way he'd let anyone follow him now. He was heading to a sacred place, one where no one was allowed to follow unless they were shifter. 

The main subject of his Father's study.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Eren's POV {Flashback}

"Now son, when you are ready, you are to visit a very special place. It is a sanctuary for our kind," His Father's warm smile beamed at him. Eren nodded, too amazed to say anything. There was a long moment of silence before his Father continued.

"It is called Noellia, a very special city outside the walls. Here, a map to it," The man handed him a crumpled piece of parchment. "I travelled there once, with an old friend of mine, his apprentice, and his daughter. You'll get to know him when you get there,"

"Who is he, papa?" Eren asked, curious.

"Ah, his name was Colon. His daughter was much like you, Eren. She was a shifter, inheriting her powers from her Father and she was quite skilled, in fact she was of the highest rank a shifter can be," 

"Oooh, what was her name?"

"Willow,"

"His apprentice was a skilled assassin, and he was good friends with Willow herself,"

"And what was his name?"

"Minx"

"Willow and Minx..."

____________________________________________________________________________________

Eren's POV

After a quick glance behind him, he confirmed that whoever had been chasing him was gone now. He peered down. Only a few stray titans were clawing at the wall today. They didn't notice him, to his relief. With that, he decided to rest on the ruined walls of Maria. He looked down at the broken wreckage below him. It looked terrible. His home. He may have been a shifter, but he felt the need to belong here. And he did belong. For a while, at least. After that, he retrieved a folded piece of paper from his jacket pocket. He was careful not to accidentally cut himself on the unsheathed knife that still laid there. 

After pulling it out, Eren unfolded it to reveal an old, weathered map. In the center, was a small grey dot. Below it was a few words in fine print.

les trois sœurs

"French for 'The Three Sisters'. Nice, Dad," Eren chuckled silently to himself as he located the larger blue dot amongst the numerous landmarks his father had drawn. It was simple map, not elegant, not modern, but simple. It was to the bare minimum of what could be called a map. 

The travel to Noellia would take days. However, he had on a set of 3DMG, so it would only take several hours, not too much. Luckily, he'd already had his lunch ration, so he wouldn't be too hungry.

"Curse the stupid government for wanting royal feasts everyday..." Eren muttered angrily.

With that, he launched his gear and sped West.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Levi's POV

The brat had sped up his 3DMG and turned a sharp left, weaving through the debris. It was pointless. Regret and guilt tugged at his heart. He turned around instead, deciding that to chase him past the walls would be useless.

Why Eren? Do you...don't you remember what I said to you?

He'd told Eren he'd loved him. He said that he loved the boy. The boy said it, too. The raven just didn't understand, why? Why would Eren take off like that? It just didn't make sense for him. Of course, it might've had something to do with the man or monster thing. Eren loved the people around him so much that he was willing to banish himself to keep them safe. The way Armin looked when he came down from the stairs....something wasn't right. 

{Time Skip}

"Armin, what happened?" Levi questioned the blonde.

"We...fought..."

"Well, whatever the Hell did you say to make him run off to his death outside the walls?" Armin flinched at the accusation, but he didn't relent.

"I-I didn't say anything, b-but I guess I must've forgot about his feelings for a while," The boy looked down, ashamed and guilty.

"I'm not mad. I'm just worried. I'm sorry..." Levi quickly apologized. If it wasn't Armin, it was himself, then. He was the only person Eren was around before he left.

"Are they planning anything to help him?"

"Well, Erwin's arranging a search party as we speak. Hanji's semi-investigating, and Mikasa's trying to murder me," Levi always had a sense of dark humor, it never really appealed to anyone but Eren. The brunette always laughed at his jokes, no matter how pessimistic they were.

"Mhmm. Figures. Hey, let's try and talk this our with her. Maybe...you'll have a chance of surviving," Oh. The blonde seemed to have the same sense of humor as him. He'd underestimated him.

"Let's see about that," 

{Time Skip}

"What do you want, midget?" Mikasa glared Levi down, giving him her signature look of death. Levi struggled not to snap back, as he hated people making fun of his height. 

"I apologize for...." He mentally cursed himself for not knowing what to say. Why was it so hard for him to at least be civilized? "Uh...my ignorance,"

"Oh you better be. If you weren't my brother's boyfriend I'd clobber you," What? How the hell did she even....ugh. Armin was smart, right? Surely he'd figured it out already. Levi refused to think any more on the subject. He was already in enough stress.

"Umm, sorry, Levi," Armin piped from beside him. The boy looked terrified as he slowly inched away. Levi gave him a menacing look, struggling to maintain his composure.

"Whatever. Can we just talk this out?" The raven semi-growled through clenched teeth.

"Alright, then. We can start with how we're gonna find him," Thankfully, Mikasa was not so much a brat as her brother. Levi sighed, slumping a little further in his chair.

"As I said before, Erwin's arranging a search party,"

"Then, you better join. If you really care for my broth-"

"I know! I have no idea how you know, but I can tell you you're missing some important details!" Levi snapped, venom in his voice. Armin and Mikasa seemed taken aback. "I fucking love Eren, more than you think! Don't think I'm not affected by this! I-I'm a human...with emotions..." Levi surprised himself with the way he faltered at the end. He rubbed furiously at his eyes, trying desperately to push away the tears daring to spill from his eyes. Armin and Mikasa were at a loss for words.

"I never said that you didn't ha-" Mikasa attempted to make things right, but Levi cut her off.

"I know you didn't! I know a lot of things! I know how to fight, I know how to kill, but I'm still an emotionless wall no matter what I do for humanity!" Levi briskly stood and walked out, through the door. He'd had enough. He wasn't himself anymore. His emotionless mask was slipping with every word he was saying. Why does this have to be so hard!? He felt himself growing sicker every second. Without Eren...he felt strange. He felt sick, like he was going to throw up. Suddenly, his knees wobbled and they buckled under him. He immediately vomited. His eyes watered and he clutched at his stomach. Ugh...disgusting. He desperately hope he wouldn't do this every time Eren was gone, but he still couldn't deny the whole situation. Eren had fled, he could be dying, starving, or kidnapped. He heard the front door slam open, and Armin and Mikasa were rushing to his side.

"L-Levi! Are you alright?" The blonde asked, worried. Mikasa placed her hand on his shoulder and gave him a wry smile.

"I'm fine. This is disgusting," Levi muttered under his breath. The two helped him up and walked him back into their HQ. 

"You know, Levi? I guess I misjudged you..." Mikasa chuckled softly.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Eren's POV

He saw it! He saw the outline of a city against the setting sun! It was full of strange stone buildings and it had an enchanted look to it. Many of the buildings were covered in moss and willow trees covered the area. Vines slowly hung down from their limbs. He whipped his 3DMG down to the gate entrance. He eyed it carefully. He landed on the ground with a soft thud. There were several surprised guards at the gate, but the instant they recognized him, they were beaming.

"You, you seem to be the boy Grisha was talking about, what's your name?" One asked.

"E-Eren..." He was unsure whether to trust them or not.

"Don't be nervous. Something terrible must've happened for you to need to come here, was it the humans?"

"Well, they sentenced me to death should I be 'volatile' but overall, that's not the reason I came here," Eren sighed.

"Ah, I see. My name's Randell. That's Mark over there," The guard gestured to a man beside him. Eren slowly nodded. How had they been able to recognize him? Had his father come here once?

"Hey there, Eren!" No. No. This was wrong. They were too friendly. No. This was a trap! He couldn't hide the panic on his face as the soldiers gave him more sickeningly sweet smiles. He slowly backed away, step by step. It was too late...too late...

A burning cold pain seared through his chest.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Levi's POV

Eren. Eren. Eren. Eren. Eren. Eren. All he could think about was the boy with messy brown locks and emerald green eyes. His soft, sad smile that always managed to break anyone's heart. A smile that used to be filled with youth, joy and happiness turned into one full of hopelessness, one that reflected all the horrors he'd seen.

I knew it. All this time, he'd been smiling, but he was really broken. My fault. My fault. My fault. Why doesn't he trust me...

All the questions swam in his head, all he wanted to do was find Eren. He'd been pacing in his room for several hours now. What was he supposed to do?

This was all his fault. 

{Time Skip}

"Mission Briefing," Erwin declared in a grim fashion. The other troops seemed confused, occasionally sneaking glances at Levi, Mikasa, and Armin. The three looked like hell. Their hair was messy, they were fidgeting nervously, and their eyes were red and puffy from crying. Levi was of the most. He was shaking uncontrollably and his knees were about ready to buckle at any moment. He leaned against Armin and Mikasa in order to stay up. His head hurt and Armin was eyeing him with a sympathetic look.

"Scout trooper Eren of the Survey Corps is missing," The whole room fell silent. 

"No. That's not what happened," Gasps could be heard as Levi shifted his weight off Mikasa and Armin and slowly staggered forward. "He tried to kill himself," Now the faces of those gathered before him were mortified.

"Levi!" Hanji whisper-shouted to him, shooting him a warning look. He only growled at her.

"I found a bloody cloth and his 3DMG missing, the window was open and I assumed he'd run away," Levi continued. Erwin raised an eyebrow.

"Is that what happened?"

"Me and Armin were the only ones there," The raven sighed. He'd remembered the shouting so clearly.

"This fight is technically over, right!?"

"I can just get out of your hair,"

"I hate you, Armin!"

____________________________________________________________________________________

Eren's POV

He didn't bother to peer down at the long piece of metal sticking out of his chest. It was too late, too late. It didn't matter anyway. This, this is what he wanted. Right? His vision blurred as he fell to his knees, staring aimlessly up at the sky. He heard footsteps. Closer. Closer. There was someone right beside him. Then he felt ringing in his ears. Silence. Nothing. 

Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback Please! And don't forget to leave me suggestions!

**Author's Note:**

> There goes my baby! Thank you guys for surviving through the first chapter. I'll post the ones that I've written all at once, so no need to get anxious! Feedback please! I know the prologue is seriously short, but next.....you'll see.


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